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Thursday, February 5, 2015

Mommy Hard At Work

1st Date Night with Hubby
Post Lily, Pre Darya
Probably the last time I looked this good!
As someone who has been in the working world (and by that I mean a clock in & clock out, paying job) since high school, I can easily say that my being a mom has been the most grueling job yet.  Kids are hard work. And as a mom, you are definitely putting in the hours (there's no 9-5 here, you are on the clock at all times, my friend). I remember, not too long ago, when my girls were too little to be left alone for even a second that I had to patiently wait (sometimes for days) before someone else was at hand to watch them just so I could take a shower. Yoga pants, slouchy shirts, hair in a bun--the just woke up look was my all day ensemble.  Being able to (and by that I mean having the time, the energy, and enough sleep in my system to even care to) go to the bathroom and fix my hair and wear make up is such a luxury!  Yea, there's no sugar coating it, when you're a mom you literally put in blood, sweat and tears raising your babies! It's not just time consuming and hard work, it's also a physical and emotional feat.  From even before a woman gets pregnant, the hardship begins. The emotions of trying to get pregnant, the hormones that kick in once we do. The 9 months when that sweet baby is growing inside you, your body is experiencing all the changes that come with being pregnant. I remember when I was pregnant with Lily I looked great. Everybody would comment on how my face glowed, my hair was thick and shiny.  My body got big in all the right places. I looked hot as a pregnant lady...from the outside. Inside, I was a big ball of pregnancy hormones one second away from combustion! I cried at the drop of a dime. I was forgetful. I was always franticly worried about whether my baby was okay, if she would be born healthy. I went cold turkey on my coffee consumption (not even decaf), and I stopped eating everything I was told may be harmful to my baby. I'd panic with crazy thoughts: what if my baby choked on the umbilical chord while I was sleeping? Then in my third trimester, the sciatic pains kicked in and all of a sudden I was experiencing a whole new level of pain and even less sleep than I was already getting!  Let me tell you, all that is nothing compared to how much your life changes once your precious baby is born! I didn't scooch over a little to make room for a baby in my life. THE BABY BECAME MY LIFE, MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE. I couldn't part from her. I was worried all the time! I was researching, reading, making sure I was on top of her sleeping and eating because it was a critical part of her brain growth. When she woke in the mornings I would take her to the living room and dance around with her in my arms as I sang her songs. I would engage in conversations with her because it was an important part of her growth process. I was physically exhausted and emotionally spent. Yet, I'd never felt more fulfilled. Seeing Lily's little face smiling up at me as she wriggled her body, her arms and legs flailing in the air (I'm putting it mildly when I say she was an energetic baby) I couldn't be happier.  Fast forward to today and well, I've basically been a stay at home/full time mom for the last 5 years. It's been both a great blessing and a curse that I now have to face-I'll discuss this one small yet very powerful sentence in detail in my next blog post!

I'm exhausted just looking at these pictures!
The beautiful thing is I remember it as though it was yesterday! 
Becoming a mom has been the hardest job I've ever had to take on. However, there is something that I wish I could scream over the rooftop address in respect to being a stay at home mom. WE ARE NOT LAYING AROUND CHILLAXING WITH OUR KIDS, ENJOYING SOME NON EXISTENT VACATION! I hate that non-parents (and the older folks whose kids are all grown up and so they've forgotten how hard it is caring for a kid) always make stupid comments-assuming I have TIME on my hands. LISTEN UP. From the moment I wake up to the moment I put my kids to sleep, I AM ON MY FEET!

Sticky fingers, mischievous stare.
They're not making my job any easier! 
I actually got a temporary retail job as a form of my very own guilty paid vacation where I could get dressed up, do my hair, where my nice clothes and mingle with adults all day. A refreshing change to my slave labor at home. Let me tell you, by day 2, my already appreciative husband was calling me at work praising my hard work at home as a mom and (his exact words) "how did you do it?!" Of course, my husband is very hands on, and he managed perfectly fine without me-but he acknowledged the exhaustion that comes with being a stay at home parent-and the acknowledgement and praise in itself is very gratifying--and most times, a parent's only form of pay! I love being a mom. I love that I have been blessed with TWO beautiful little girls. If I could, I'd honestly have two more! But...and it's a big but (part of the whole blessing and curse that I'll write about tomorrow)...there's so many other things I still want to do while I'm still young enough to do it! Being a mom is hard work. The hardest and most selfless job in the world. I think I'm ready to put myself back in the picture again. Meet halfway between selfless and selfish and learn to do me while still being a good mom.


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